When I got to the second old fashioned place at a downtown bar, I didn’t know how I got here. I was 45 years old and nursed a drink on a neon-lit dive next to my girlfriend. A few weeks ago, I saw a reflection in the bar mirror and wondered if I was holding onto the young man with both hands or if what we had was the real thing.
Then came the late night impulse, fueled by existential terror matches. I decided to play an AI therapist for a week. why? I felt that the actual therapy was so official that some of me didn’t want to breathe humans to make sure I was losing my grip. On the other hand, AI? It felt strangely safe. I mean, if that judges me, who cares? It’s a machine. If that gave me useless advice, I would at least have a strange story to share.
So I signed up for an AI therapy app that I saw as being promoted on YouTube Binge at 2am without a heart. By the morning, I had planned my first session. “Session” is a loose word here. Basically, I entered my emotional crisis. The chatbot responded with soothing text-based bullet points. If I noticed my predicament, I was half expecting it to be shorted. But AI never alked. It was relentlessly calm and told me to come and go, like a well-maintained digital yogi.
Day 1: Confession
I opened the chat window and said, “I think I might be experiencing a middle-aged crisis, or I’m really happy with the young woman. I don’t know which one is.” I stared at the flashing cursor, feeling a bit ridiculous. When the reaction arrived, it had an unsettlingly non-judgmental tone: “It sounds like you are experiencing some uncertainty about your relationship and the stages of life. Can you explain the specific feelings you feel about your relationship?”
I typed something along the lines of “fear, excitement, confusion.” AI gave me a brief, tidy talk of Pep about acknowledging and naming my feelings. A strange part? I began to feel a small weightlift. This act of bringing down to digital being – temporary, calm – has been oddly released.
But again, it was day one. My skepticism wasn’t about to go away in one night.
Day 2: Spiral of doubt
That night my girlfriend and I went on a date at the opening of the gallery. She was bustling with excitement for abstract art, explaining the shapes and colors of her youthful enthusiasm she had vaguely remembered since her 20s. But as she said, I thought part of me might look like a cliché older man who refuses to grow up. At 45, I am not ancient, but sometimes she and I feel like they are from a completely different planet.
Later that night, I returned to my dimly lit apartment and opened an AI chat and typed it out. Is that a mess? ” I supported it for the blame, as if I had entered a message to a Catholic confessor. Instead, the screen lights up with the measured response.
“It’s understandable to question your motivation. Sometimes attraction can be influenced by the desire to recapture young people or address unmet emotional needs. It may help you as an individual to explore what really draws you to this person.”
It wasn’t nonsense, but it gave me a framework too. AI has proposed journaling exercises. That night I actually did it. After all, my list of authentic qualities – her kindness, her curiosity, how she challenges me intellectually – was quite long.
Then I scrolled to a handful of bullet points I wrote about what might be pure ego on my part. Yes, I liked how she thought I was “matured” and “experienced.” Yes, it gave me my vanity when she bragged about the achievements of my career. But if I’m honest, such flattery is a cheap thrill. Reading my bullet points, I realized that wasn’t the reason to be with her, but that was something I needed to check.
Day 3: AI encourages me to meditate
One of my next suggestions from a robosarapist was to practice “mindful breathing.” This is exactly what a real-life therapist and self-help master says, but it gave me a sci-fi edge that entertains me enough to hear it (or read it, rather read it) from the AI and actually do it. So I was like a middle-aged man closed his eyes, inhaled, counted in four, breathed, counted to four, counted like a Jedi in training.
What do you guess? It helped, at least for now. For five or ten minutes, my swirling thoughts, “What if she was too young?” and then paused, “Are I abandoning my maturity for a throw?”, and took my seat, breathing a breath of peace.
Later, I typed: The AI responded: “It’s normal to worry about external perceptions and internal motivations. Try focusing on how you feel in the relationship itself. Do you feel respected, supported and truly connected? These factors transcend the age gap.”
It’s not exactly rocket science, but it was refreshing to see it spelled out. Respect, support, and connection. Isn’t that what I want at any age?
Day 4: Existential Rabbit Hole
Despite my up-and-coming optimism, the fourth day was tough. I was caught up in a fight with my girlfriend. I want to see an old martial arts flick while I’m at home and want to spin the spinning techno downtown. Our discussions often revolve around lifestyle differences. She has a group of friends who thrive late at night and on voluntary road trips. My body thrives with 8 hours of sleep and the comfort of a worn-out recliner.
That night, I let my digital therapist say: I can’t. i haven’t. And I don’t know if I should give it a try either. “The AI’s response has slowed down. Have you considered openly speaking about boundaries and shared interests? Also, do you recognize differences as opportunities for mutual growth? ”
I turned to the phrase “opportunities for mutual growth,” and that created the point. Maybe it wasn’t because I was pretending to be 25 years old. It was about finding sweet spots where our world overlap, rather than completely merged.
Day 5: Crazy Ideas
On the fifth day I woke up and decided to do something characteristically spontaneous. Inspired by the AI perspective, or perhaps the budding sense that my everyday life could benefit from the shock, decided to surprise my girlfriend on a random day trip. I jumped into my old jeep, picked up her and headed for the nearby hiking trail. There was no plan, a pair of gas tanks and boots.
We laughed about the little things while climbing. I’m hooked on my boundaries about hip hop in the 90s that she can’t function without delicious coffee. At that moment, the age difference had melted away. We were only two of us fake memories. By the end of a sweaty, tired day, we had collapsed on the couch and realised that we might not need to be perfectly matched to every life preference. If anything, our differences have sparked excitement.
That night I entered a message to a digital therapist. Today was… easy. There’s no existential crisis, it’s just fun. ” AI responded: “It appears you’ve taken a positive step to fostering a relationship. Positive experiences can strengthen emotional bonds. Think back on what has been successful today and consider how similar spontaneity can be incorporated into your routine.”
Good sadness, it was like the most patient guidance counselor in the world. Still, it helped me to make sure I don’t have to choose to feel my age and enjoy the youthful side.
Day 6: Overanalysis mode
As the week of AI therapy approached the end, I realized I was deeply immersed in the meta’s guts. Was this whole exercise a different band-aid? Perhaps a real therapist will dig deeper and ask me about childhood anxiety, fatherly relationships, or how I deal with mortality. AI remained primarily in the present, focusing on practical steps and reflective journaling. Was that enough?
I typed it: “You’re just a machine. Are you missing something? Like real empathy, the warmth of a real human?” With a typical calm, AI responded with a disclaimer about how to provide guidance based on general psychological principles and lack of genuine emotional capabilities. He then added: “You might consider talking to a human expert for a deeper emotional job. However, the insights we explore can help you improve your self-awareness.”
It was the first time I felt like AI was breaking out of my therapist role and wielding me into the real world. There was a humility that I had never expected.
Day 7: Conclusion – and other questions
By the last day I realized that AI therapy might not be a complete replacement for trained humans, but it provided incredible clarity. I discovered that some of my fears of “taking the cradle” (as my older friend teased) stems from a mixture of social perceptions of aging and internal shame. Yes, there is a part of me worrying that she will one day wake up and consider me a relic of another era. But there are also authentic connections we share. At least enough to empower your cross-country day trip and keep talking all night long about everything from music to dreams of the future.
I entered my final reflection on AI: “So, was this a midlife crisis or is it true?” I half-announced to say, “Hey, we need actual treatment.” Instead, it gave me a measured encouragement: “Emotions of restlessness and fear of aging can exist along with genuine emotional connections. Understanding the underlying motivations of your relationship helps you see whether it is rooted in meaningful bonds and escapism. While only you can decide which one is, self-awareness is an important first step.”
Report after the week
Honestly, making AI my therapist for a week was a roller coaster, but it wasn’t something like a meltdown. It was a more humble and surreal experiment. On the other hand, I missed the subtle empathy that a human warmth, flesh and blood counselor might offer. There’s something about talking face to face with other people – you can’t read their expressions, hear them say your name, and reproduce them by the entered sentences on the screen.
On the other hand, I couldn’t ignore how easy it is for non-judgment entities. AI felt like a blank canvas for my confession. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t afraid to let it down or see disappointment in its eyes. It also helped me approach my own ideas systematically. AI bullet points and journaling prompts streamlined my scattered emotions in a surprisingly effective way.
Ultimately, did I understand it all? It’s definitely not. I ignoring the ironic whispers in my head, I’m sure love is beyond age, and I think I’m playing a Hollywood script. But I can say a lot of this. If there is a difference between crisis and credibility, it has something to do with how honest we are, that is, ourselves and the people we care about. It’s one of my biggest takeaways from my AI therapy. If I am not a symbol of young people, but truly respect my girlfriend as a person, if she loves who I am, wrinkles and more, that’s true. If I’m just getting the fleeting sense of “cool” or “desired”, then it’s facing me.
At least now, I have some clarity. That clarity may ultimately lead me to become a real therapist or I may continue to journal myself. Whatever the pass, a chunk of credit goes to my digital confessor. My irony is my zen-like AI buddy who listened to my rant at 2am without one eyeroll.
Would you recommend AI therapy to everyone? It’s difficult to say. Especially when dealing with deeper trauma, it definitely isn’t a substitute for eligible mental health support. But for medieval medieval people trying to understand whether he was foolishly chasing Mirage or truly connected to his younger partner, it was an unexpectedly useful mirror. And if there’s nothing else, I always have this strange, futuristic story. At that moment I asked the machine if I was crazy.
