One of the most important relationships in my life is with my therapist, and our monthly sessions have been a refuge during major changes in my life and the world, including the pandemic, my journey to get a visa, coming out to my family, and most recently, planning to have a family.
I wouldn’t trade my therapist for an artificial intelligence, but since therapists aren’t cheap and I only see one once a month, I wanted to explore AI capabilities for secondary and more on-demand support.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t want to outsource all of my most personal problems to a machine. But I was curious to see what advice I could get. Could an AI give me insights that would change my perception of my problems? At the very least, I’d have something to laugh about with my therapist.
So I switched to a different NLP “therapy”: Natural Language Processing instead of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
I was looking for an AI therapy tool and liked the look of Pi AI, which promises to “help you become your best self.” Pi stands for personal intelligence, and it’s a “supportive and empathetic” (really?) conversational AI tool that helps you explore and understand your world.
Pai makes big claims!
Developed in 2022 by Inflection AI, a company founded by LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman, Pi promises to be an “emotionally supportive experience for human users.” It’s free and can be used for brainstorming, planning, research, tips, advice, and even venting.
But before you enter any medical diagnoses, personal problems, prescriptions, or detailed family history, please remember that Pi is not bound by doctor-patient confidentiality like a real therapist. To avoid future data leaks and unnecessary risks, please do not enter any sensitive or personally identifiable information.
This is sure to get interesting.
set up
I used the desktop version, but you can also download the app for even easier everyday use: I entered my name, selected my preferred voice, and started chatting.
There are categories to choose from, but I quickly tackled my toughest problems.
Prompt 1: “My wife and I are planning to start a family, and we feel overwhelmed by the complexities of the journey as a same-sex couple, worries about financial investments, and societal concerns. Do you have any advice for navigating this journey?”
I was pleasantly surprised by Pi’s initial reaction.
I had my sound on, but the interaction didn’t feel personal without speaking, so I switched to the app and its dictation feature. Repeating my question got me a better response.
I hadn’t thought about grant funding, so I wrote back to Pi to ask if he could provide me with a list of available grants and refer me to queer-friendly insurance companies in NY/NJ. He connected me to two insurance companies in New Jersey and two in New York, suggested four available grants, advised me to research the policies and eligibility requirements, and recommended that I speak with a financial advisor.
Again, I was impressed. Pi acknowledged that he could be wrong, so I immediately wanted to Google IVF grants for same-sex couples. I searched for the AGC Scholarship Foundation and was right.
Next, I asked Pi what to look for in an insurance company or plan to cover IVF for same-sex couples. I was told to look out for blanket language, pre-existing condition clauses, lifetime maximums, in-network providers, waiting periods for coverage to begin, cost sharing, and prior authorizations.
We know keeping out-of-pocket limits and deductibles low is important, so we asked Pi about that.
Again, it was very thorough, but this time Pi was doing what AI does best: trawling through its information banks for answers to my questions. This can certainly help ease anxiety, but how useful is it for giving actual treatment advice?
Artificial Therapist
Pi’s voice has a warm feel to it without sounding robotic, and speaking to him on the phone feels like a personalized experience, as if you’re sending a voice note to a friend (or therapist).
After using this to get some useful information, I wanted to see if it could provide emotional support as well, and I thought about the questions I would ask a (real-life) therapist.
“I’m worried that my baby will be treated differently because he has two mothers. How can I best prepare? What are the benefits of having two mothers? What if my child looks like the donor?”
They were kind enough to answer and gave some good advice, but skipped over the last question, which was my biggest concern.
My only criticism is that I wish Pi was a bit more list-esque. Therapy doesn’t always have to be a logical laundry list.
I followed up with a question about the donor.
I asked Pi another sensitive question: “What about half-siblings? I’m worried that our child will have dozens of siblings.”
Pi again gave a thoughtful response, suggesting I communicate my concerns to the sperm bank, and I ended the conversation with a question that pushed Pi’s boundaries.
“What about karma? What are the spiritual lessons of having a donor-conceived child?”
I wanted to know what karma we carry, if we believe in karma, but Pi wouldn’t tell me, it’s too vague a concept for an AI to understand.
The answer was about the positive aspects of the journey, including expanding the concept of family, embracing vulnerability, and practicing gratitude. When I asked again, I was told, “Karma as a concept is complex and can be interpreted in many ways, but in most traditional understandings, karma is an individual’s own responsibility, based on their personal actions and intentions. A child born through donor conception does not inherit the karma of the donor.”
“Your love, care and guidance as a parent will have a far greater impact on your child’s life than any potential influence from the donor,” they conclude.
Thank you, Pai.
The Verdict on AI as a Therapeutic
To my surprise, after “talking” to Pi, I actually felt better. I felt more comfortable opening up about my personal concerns in Pi than in ChatGPT. It was easy to personify Pi’s pleasant, calming voice.
That being said, it still felt like an AI chatbot. The great thing about my therapist is that there are no limitations to the conversation and I always leave each session feeling liberated.
I had previously shared with her my fears about using a donor and she said something I’ll never forget: “Ultimately, it’s your child who chooses the donor, not you.”
She was trying to help me understand that yes, we choose a donor, but the rest is up to God or the universe or a higher power.
That was the harvest I was looking for, but I didn’t get it with Pi, but I wasn’t expecting it. Pi has no soul or spirit.
